So yeah this guy

Jake, I'm really not sure about him.
Well in the week I just started randomly texting him and we were flirting a lot, I did keep thinking about him. But I was like urgh whatever.
Then I find out from my friend Kate that he got off with Thea in the middle of the week. I was hurt just a little bit but I just deleted all the texts and shed a little tear and I was fine. I swore I wouldn't turn my phone on for the rest of the holiday.
Well that plan failed and I ended up turning it on to see I had 1 missed call off Jake and several texts telling me to wake up to talk.
I wasn't happy with him so I was being off with him. Then I said I heard to got off with Thea. He said well I kinda feel bad, cause I kinda like you.
And I was like urrr k? I didn't know what to think of it all.

I told him he didn't really like me and stuff but he was sure he does and told me he couldn't stop thinking about me.
I was weary because I was afraid Thea might like him and I was unsure as to if I did.
And when he asked to meet up or call me I'd say no and make up excuses.

But I've given in again. I let him call me and we spoke for nearly 3 hours.
I don't know what to do though. Shall I carry this on or stop it?
He wants to meet tomorrow, I might just avoid him. He geniuely does like me and I really don't wanna mess him around because he is lovely really.

AHHHH SO CONFUSED!

I'm back!

from Dorset and it was beautiful sunny yayness!
Well I got to see Kate and I've been on the phone to Jake and David for like 2 hours now good times (Y):D

I'll update properly later :)

Camping in Dorset

Well I'm going to Dorset to camp with my family from the 22th of May till the 30th of May.
So I won't be updating obvsiously. I will once I get back!
I hope everyone has a nice week :)
xxxxxx

I think

I'm obsessed with Finnish people from now on :L
My friend Sophie told me that there were Finnish people coming over and I thought aahh their going to be weddy little things, whatever.
But then I was walking back to my form room from art with Dan and I was like "I've never seen them before." And Dan said "They're the Finnish people."
And I was like "WHAT."
They are meant to be my age (Fifteen) they looked about 20 and just so whoaaa. There was this really gorgeous, emo-looking girl with big scene kid hair and the tiniest waist you would ever seen. There was also a blonde haired girl who was beautiful.
And I was like omgggggg, but all the boys were creepy and weedy.
Me, Thea and Rachael basically followed them around all lunchtime cause it's like so amazing to have a different nationality at our school and this blonde haired boy kept staring at us and we were like "Aaaahhh." >.<
Tomorrow there will be two of them in our form ;D

Just amazing, I think I'm obsessed with other countries genuinely.

Not the brightest atm

I don't know what's wrong with me all of a sudden.
I feel so crap and I have no idea why?
I don't want next week to come along cause I'm shitting myself about the work experience meeting and doing the psychology experiment on kids I don't know by myself.
I just hate school so fucking much right now it's unbelieveable. I just want to go to college and have fun.
I hate my school.
I hate the thought that we only have tomorrow and then we have to go back in on Monday.

I know all I have to do is think positive and everything will turn out fine with these things. But I'm too un-confident.
I really wish I did have confidence.
I wish I was a completely different person sometimes.

I wish I was pretty, skinny and really smart. But you can't have everything.
Oh how my exams would be so good if I was smart. I'm totally freaking out about exams.

I wish I could get out more like to parties and stuff. I wish my Mum would let me do more things and not worry so much about me.

I wouldn't normally say this but I wish I had a boyfriend, cause you see I don't really care about being single. But lately is mostly what I think about because you see all these girls in these long-term relationships experiencing everything together, having fun. Like Ladon and Rachael. Oh how I envy her sometimes
But there is no one around, plus the stupid thing is I'm scared of love, I'm scared of commitment. I know I'm not the type of girl to go around kissing guys all the time but I'm truely scared of it all. I hate it so much.
I wish I had the confidence to meet guys and see where it goes. But I don't.

Just needed someone to let it out to. I wish I didn't feel this way right now.
I want to be positive but I just feel so gloomy at the moment.

Bored times

School posty

I don't know whether you guys would like to read my rant about my school stuff, ahh well you're gonna have to now :D

Well tonight I have done history coursework, doing stuff in my photography book and like an hours worth of science revision.
I marked my first mock science gcse thing and I got one mark off of a B! I was angry with myself, the physics bit let me down! Not my strongest bit.
But I have another mock but I don't know when cause we were meant to have to today but then they didn't do it. Don't know why :L

I have to do a psychology experiment on a form of year sevens soon and I'm so scared about it. It's about cue-dependency and shit. Not fun. The coursework is so hard and I don't get most of it.

So yeah that was my school rant.
Things are mostly good lately. Today was well nice, had psychology with Chris and I love him. Science where we just revised while me, Sophie and Kate bitched about people and then Maths with Rachael and Kyle which is always hilarious.
I was balancing on like three legs on my chairs while we were on the computers and she decided to kick the leg and I like completely fell off my chair onto the floor, me and Rachael were in hysterics but then my maths teacher saw me, Mr Rudge and was like what the hell are you girls doing.
And then I said my leg hurts and he took the actual piss out of me and didn't ask if I was alright! But I do love my Maths teacher! He is like an old man who tries to be funny but isn't but it is funny cause he is trying ;D

ANYWAY.
Imma stop now! NIGHT ;D xxxx