Yeah so

You really do treat me like shit sometimes.
I wish you could see how much you hurt me everyday and how many tears I have cried about you. But it doesn't matter because, I'm meant to be your best friend you say sorry and everything is fine right?
Well it is with me, because I'm so fucking scared of loosing you. One of the biggest fears I could ever have. The things to do to me make me so upset but I just brush them a side and pretend nothing has happened. Because I love you too much, your my best friend. I may just be a paranoid little fucker but it's the way I am. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble for you cause I feel like I always do. I feel like you never want me to be around. I hate it when you ignore me basically all day even though I'm meant to be your 'best friend'.
But in the end you know that it doesn't matter, cause I'll forgive you.
I want you to care and worry about me, I want you to cuddle me when I'm upset like today for example. But no ignored me instead.
I wish I could tell you these things but I won't because I'll be deleting this when I'm done. I'm even too scared to send this to you because I know you'll flip at me.
I'm just waiting for you to speak to me on msn and make me feel better. But now a days all you care about is your new 'gash'. Oh I can't be fucked.
But oh do I love you, and you know that.

This is an deleted email I was going to send to Cameron about how insecure and unhappy I am with him.
He is the reason I feel like this.