My eventful evening

Well everyone is fighting.
Because of one person.
It's horrible.
Making me so upset, I'm crying.

I fucking tired to be nice, no point. Fuck it to be honest.

mmmmmmmm

do you like hurting me so?
I don't understand, your in a horrible mood so you make me feel like shit as well. Hardly fair is it? Well you don't give a shit so it doesn't matter.

Anyway on a lighter note.
Me and my bestest Thea are doing a story together we have decided it's something to do in our spare time. Thea is going to write one chapter and I'll write the nextt.
I can't wait to get it tomorrow, as Thea has started the first chapter :)

I'm also writing a script for media coursework, I don't think it's too bad. I won't say what it's about because it sounds really stupid.

Urrr anyway, more followers pleaseee and thankyou :)

Things

with Cameron have looked up.
Everything is amazingly lovely and I feel great tonight.

I do love my best friend with all my heart, even with these stupid fights.

Everyone

please search up the song, Boats and Birds by The Scene Aesthetic.
The most sweetest, amazing song I've ever heard like ever.
DO IT LIKE NOW!

I keep

thinking about what I was about to send to him last night and I really wish I had done now.
But in a way I know I wouldn't anyway.
But we're talking again like everything is fine.

So one of my best friends she had her boyfriend over last night and she was telling me how it was obvsious that he wanted more than she is ready for. She is only fifteen and I hate the pressure that sex and love is putting onto us. All the girls in my year at school are bragging about sex and this and that and I'm like why do we all have to start doing it now. I feel like I have to and I'm no where near ready for it.
I hate all this growing up and such. Aahhhh dammit.

Yeah so

You really do treat me like shit sometimes.
I wish you could see how much you hurt me everyday and how many tears I have cried about you. But it doesn't matter because, I'm meant to be your best friend you say sorry and everything is fine right?
Well it is with me, because I'm so fucking scared of loosing you. One of the biggest fears I could ever have. The things to do to me make me so upset but I just brush them a side and pretend nothing has happened. Because I love you too much, your my best friend. I may just be a paranoid little fucker but it's the way I am. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble for you cause I feel like I always do. I feel like you never want me to be around. I hate it when you ignore me basically all day even though I'm meant to be your 'best friend'.
But in the end you know that it doesn't matter, cause I'll forgive you.
I want you to care and worry about me, I want you to cuddle me when I'm upset like today for example. But no ignored me instead.
I wish I could tell you these things but I won't because I'll be deleting this when I'm done. I'm even too scared to send this to you because I know you'll flip at me.
I'm just waiting for you to speak to me on msn and make me feel better. But now a days all you care about is your new 'gash'. Oh I can't be fucked.
But oh do I love you, and you know that.

This is an deleted email I was going to send to Cameron about how insecure and unhappy I am with him.
He is the reason I feel like this.

:/

This song completely explains my mood after a real shit day today;

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
'Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,
Actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something
Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something.

So yeah real shit.