I figured out the other day that it has been seven months since I started liking him, he has been made me feel extreme lows and highs for the past seven bloody months. I seriously think this is fucking crazy, like out of this world crazy.
It's horrible thinking that he has been able to keep me hanging onto him for this long, it doesn't make sense it's like I'm waiting for something to happen. But I haven't even told him, not even hinted that I've been hopelessly in 'love' with him for this long. I feel like a sitting duck, waiting to be hurt with everyday that goes by.
Cause I know I haven't followed advice from friends or even my heart, I've decided to be stubborn and not risk myself getting pummeled to the ground and laughed at by the rejection, in reality I'm waiting for it to disappear and play out, so I don't have to deal with any consequences at all, because that is what I'm most scared of.
I'm scared of love and rejection.